My Poor Mailman Will Never Be the Same!

 

                                                              This is almost the look I got from the mailman today!  Pretty close!!

 

Today for most of the afternoon I watched for my mailman.   My book was supposed to be delivered today and,  since I have not held it in my hands yet, I was excited about seeing it!  Hubby had to go into the office and the only place I intended to go was through the Smoothie King Drive-Thru so I just threw one of my moomoos on and gaudy jewelry so they would think it was a dress. 

I watched for him, making regular trips to my window.  My mailman is a different sort of fellow.  He seems to love his job!  He wears an MP3 player with headphones.  He is more like a paperboy from the 1950s rather than a 21st century mailman.  If he isn’t listening to music he is talking on the phone.   He often delivers the wrong mail to the wrong address, but he is a really nice guy.

Today, finally he drove up across the street.  Great!  That meant another thirty minute wait!!  Should I get in the car and go ask him if he had it?  I decided against it.  At last he got to our street!  He always starts with the opposite side of my house.  I thought I would open my glass door and ask him if he had a white package for me, but I knew Gracie would run out and try to eat him alive.  No, that wouldn’t do!  I would just have to wait. 

He makes it to my next door neighbor‘s house and then passes my window.   There is nothing in his hands!  What is happening??  This cannot be right!  I tell Gracie to stay back and I go running out screaming, “EXCUSE MEEEEE!!!!”  He doesn’t hear me!  Imagine that IF you can!!  Oh, could this get worse??  He is fast on his feet!!  I have to really start sprinting now!  I pull my moomoo up just above my ankles and start running faster screaming louder, “EXCUSE MEEEEEEE!!!!!!”  He suddenly turns.   I am holding the moomoo up with one hand and waving with the other.  The look on his face was priceless!  His eyes got big, his mouth fell open and in slow motion he reaches up and pulls one of his earplugs out. 

Me  I am so sorry to bother you!  Do you have a book for me?

Him  No, no book.

He frowns as he gets a full look at me!  He rushes to put his earplug in and to get to the mail truck!

Me  I am so sorry, please wait!

He speeds up!!   I could not believe my eyes!  How rude!!

Me  WAIT!!  I say in my teacher voice!  He turns back to face me…Do you have a white envelope at all?

Him  No.  Haven’t all day…maybe at the Post Office.

Me  Thank youuuuuuu!!!!

He does an Olympic fast dash, gets in his truck and I think he locked it!  I begin to wonder what is wrong with him.  Normally, he is so personable.   I then feel something.  I feel something hitting my ankles and a pull against me!  It is the moomoo blowing in the wind!  I go inside, head to my bedroom and look in my full length mirror.  Oh, yes it was a bad as I imagined!  I wore the moomoo that is swirled in a black, white, and a sapphire blue pattern.  Beautiful colors, but it looks like I have draped a colorful parachute over my head.  I had only finger combed my hair, and my jewelry was huge and BRIGHT! 

If you stop and think about it from his perspective, he may have thought the “Phantom of the Opera” was chasing him down, except my voice sounds like Edith Bunker‘s!!  We may be ordered by the U.S. Postal Service to pick our mail up in person from now on!  Oh, and by the way, he did deliver a book today…TO MY MOTHER!!!!  Well, at least I finally got to see it!  Blessings, precious reader!!  I will see you soon!